Dating smart

Unlike thermodynamics, women are not intuitively obvious. Sometimes she'll come to you when you ignore her and leave when you declare your undying love - deal with it. Women have curves -- that's why we like 'em. Love is paradoxical and counterintuitive. Realize that and work with it, not against it. Quit trying to buy your way into a woman's favor. This is how it works in the movies: Of the two dozen reasons I can think for why this protocol sucks, here's one: And bribes don't work! They're given before the desired behavior has ever happened, so she has no incentive to like you.

In fact, many times it has the opposite effect: In neurological terms, you want to give a positive reinforcer - like a present - after someone exhibits a desirable behavior. That increases the frequency of that behavior in the future. When you give the positive reinforcer before the desirable behavior, you reinforce nothing. So you're increasing the likelihood of getting - nothing. Quit thinking girls should like you because you're smart. A smart guy values smarts above all - and thinks the rest of the world does, too. But those lugs probably think Hubble is some kind of gum and Perl scripts are oyster recipes!

How could she possibly choose them over him? Well, it just doesn't work that way, my friend. A woman will like you based on how you you make her feel. So make her feel stuff - preferably good stuff.

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That's the essence of it. Write that down, engrave it on a plaque, tattoo it on your forehead backwards so you'll read it every time you brush your teeth in the morning. It's like, axiomatic, dude. Go get rejected - a lot. Smart people are used to success, not failure. So they're reluctant to risk social rejection. But if you're not getting rejected, that means you're not out exposing yourself to danger, the crucible in which manhood gets forged.

So be a man -- get out there and get turned down. Even if your success rate's a measly 10 percent, after asking a mere 10 women out, you'll have yourself a date.


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Fortune favors the bold. Allow yourself to be pursued a little. Evolution decrees that in the Homo sapiens sapiens mating dance, the male pursues and the female is pursued. Let's say you're a CEO or doctor, or lawyer, or some other authority figure. Your job involves managing people and telling them what to do.

Occasionally, you have to cut them short and redirect their focus to what's important, or argue to make your point in a pivotal meeting. All in a day's work. Here's the key point to remember: So if you unconsciously keep on doing those things that make you so effective at the office, you may end up alienating him - especially if he's also a CEO.

Strictly speaking, this does not set a man's heart aflame though it may give him heartburn. In her insightful book on why men don't call women back after a date , Rachel Greenwald lists this 'Boss Lady Syndrome' as the 1 reason men run, based on a survey of thousands of men. Remember that guys admire and respect a woman who can take charge and kick ass.

Guys respect and absolutely adore a woman who can take charge and kick ass but doesn't feel the need to prove it around him. According to Marianne Williamson's insight in A Woman's Worth , "In intimate relations with men, I want to major in feminine and minor in masculine.

If love and meaningful companionship aren't more important to you than a project, paper, or pet, then you can skip this part entirely. But if love really matters to you and you don't aspire to a monastic life, put in as much time and energy into dating and romance as you do into other things you excel at.

Dating is not an afterthought for when you've taken care of everything else. As far as anyone can tell, deep, meaningful relationships are the most important part of life.

Serious Online Dating

So let's not leave it to chance, shall we? If you like a guy, make him feel it. Give him at least as much time and energy as your spreadsheet, term paper, chihuahua or Facebook page. A smart guy knows exactly where he is on your priority list, and if it's too low, he will move on. Smart women can sometimes get really excited over a guy's resume, especially when he's gone to the right schools and held the right jobs. Then they get stuck in a miserable marriage and wonder what went wrong when everything seemed so perfect.

Why Do the Smartest Women Have the Toughest Time Dating?

There's minimal correlation between a guy's resume and how good he can make you feel. Fulfillment is not a person; it's a feeling. If his company isn't fulfilling, you're probably with the wrong guy. All women are master overthinkers; smart women just have extra brainpower to burn on it. Zoosk asks you to describe your perfect date, your idea of the perfect match, and more. Once you're ready to go, the dating site gives you a variety of interactive options, from sending hearts and smileys, to a swipe-like yes or no feature, to showing you which users have viewed your profile and those who are currently online.

Zoosk allows members to verify their profiles through video, in order to show that they actually look like their pics. Like Match, Zoosk gives you a wide variety of options in terms of finding other single people. What's even better though, is that Zoosk actually analyzes your interactions and uses them to find you more matches you'll like. This is a dating site that pays attention to what you're into, and when they spot a winner, they'll throw them into your radar like a qualified personal assistant.

So just know, that the precious time you're allotting to Zoosk outside business hours is not being wasted. The more you use the app, the higher your chances are of being paired with a match you'll be super excited about. The League Who knows how exclusive The League actually is, but it does hide your profile from your social media contacts, and that's worth paying for. While a paid membership may quicken your approval process, the app still has a very selective screening process to ensure that its members are all of the same, er, status.

Think CEOs and entrepreneurs. All users are required to provide their Facebook and Linkedin info so that The League can vet profiles and confirm credentials. The dating site stores your social media contacts so that it can block them from seeing your profile or being suggested as a potential match.

Their whole premise is pretty much "never settle," so you can expect your matches to match on pretty much all of the criteria you specified. Users are also provided a "concierge," AKA their personal concierge at The League who can help them through their experience. As a paid member, users can also attend League-sponsored events to meet other members. This is pretty much a white glove service in the form of a dating app. The League isn't messing around when it comes to giving you the experience you deserve. They clearly have a good grasp on what works for professionals, based on the fact that they use your Linkedin and Facebook to block you from your connections on the two.

Mixing business with pleasure is never a great idea for the wise professional, and the League knows that. When signing up for the app, it auto-fills info from your LinkedIn profile. You can then make it more personalized by adding more photos or listing your interests, as well as adding preference filters in terms of age, location, school, occupation to narrow the kinds of profiles you're shown.

After that, a functionality similar to Tinder takes over. Swipe right for profiles you like, swipe left for the ones you don't. If you like someone and they like you back, congrats! It's a match and you're free to start chatting. Sometimes you just want the simplicity of Tinder without the worry of spending countless hours swiping past profiles of undergrads. If you're past that part of your life and need someone more mature and well-established in their career, but you're not quite ready to commit to a question love survey, then BeLinked is the dating app for you.

It's free to download the app, but to get Premium perks like the ability to narrow your match options by city, occupation, etc. You can unlock the same Premium features for free if you invite 3 or more friends to the app via text. For the bagels that were liked, the app will then figure out the best possible options for women out of the men who expressed interest.

The Surprising Benefits Of Dating A Woman Who's Smarter Than You

You have meetings, your hours are long and sometimes you just feel like there aren't enough hours in the day, especially not enough to pencil in a date. Instead of getting stuck in complacency in the world of swiping and one-liners, Coffee Meets Bagel will give you the little push you need to actually take this thing into the real world. Once you've made a match with someone who's already interested , the app will take you into a private chatroom and set you up with some prompt questions to get the ball rolling.

Coffee Meets Bagel will even follow up with you and encourage a date, so you're less likely to forget about a promising match when a busy work week takes priority.

4 Dating Struggles of Highly Intelligent Men

Bumble Bumble puts women in the driver's seat, changing the dating dynamic. Free Bumble Boost Membership: Bumble is the app that turns the tables and has the ladies make the first move. Similar to Tinder, setting up your profile on Bumble is pretty straightforward and follows the "swipe left or right" method.


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After signing up you'll need a Facebook to do so , just fill out a brief bio and start swiping. When two people both swipe right for yes on each other, a "connection" is made. At this point, the woman then has 24 hours to start a conversation.


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  6. If she doesn't make a move within the time limit, the connection is lost.